Chapter 3.6- You Didn't, You Couldn't, You Weren't, I Wasn't

            “WHAAAAAAAAATTTTTT??!??!??” Mariah’s screech shook the peace of the slumbering neighborhood. Outside, a sudden rustle of wings signaled she’d even awakened the birds with her pre-dawn cry.

            She’d grabbed a slip from one of the drawers next to her and stuffed it over her head as quickly as she could muttering all the while.

            “I knew it. Bad idea. Such a bad idea,” sliding to sit on the bed edge, back turned on a Roger attempting to put his underwear back on. “What was I thinking? How could I do it? And for it to be followed by… Bad, bad idea. I’m such an idiot.”

            The mattress shifted and she snapped her mouth shut. How could he say something like that? And immediately after… Even that was awful! Two minutes? Maybe? The last time with Andre lasted longer than that! What the hell? She’d gotten barely anything out of it and then that… He’d said that. That! She’d never told anyone that! Ever! Not even her mom! What did he think that had meant? Did he even know? She’d planned on this being something relaxing, nice; she’d tell him later it was supposed to be meaningless. Now… Oh now. Now what?

            Beside her, Roger cleared his throat. She sat stony, silent, seething, wishing she could duct tape his mouth shut before he made things worse.

            “I’m… I’m not sorry for saying it,” his low rumble reached her ears and she flinched. “I meant it.”

            “I-I mean it,” he continued. “I really do. I-I-I lo-love you, Mariah.”

            Her only response was to glare at him. Could he make this any worse?

            Roger sighed.

            “I’ve loved you for ages,” his voice nearly disappearing under her glare. “I just… I’ve never been able to tell you since you always seemed so intent on making sure I know you didn’t… you couldn’t-you weren’t-I wasn’t-”

            “So you’ve felt this way for a long time and the time you choose to tell me is right after we have woohoo?” Mariah still couldn’t meet his eye. She sighed. “I just… I haven’t ever thought anything between us could work out. You’re my best friend, Rog.”

            She shook her head, trying to come up with words to convey how she was feeling. His repeated confession had taken some of the fire out of her, but she was still angry. He’d put her on the spot in a way she’d never been before. It wasn’t fair.

            “Sorry,” Roger whispered back.

            “Don’t be,” she answered. “I mean, you were just telling me how you felt right? It’s not like you were admitting that was your first time, too, that those words just slipped out in excitement, that you didn’t mean to say it like that.”

            “Ah-uhm,” Roger cleared his throat, again. “Well, you see, actually, that-uhm- technically was my… first… time and believe me that was not the way I had pictured telling... you... that.”

            The *smack* sound echoed in the room, she’d facepalmed so hard.

            “Stupid-stupid-stupid mistake,” with each word she hit herself with her fingertips.

            The mattress sank a little more with Roger’s sigh.

            “No! Not you,” Mariah amended. “Not you, I’m the one who made a stupid mistake. I’m the stupid one. It’s me.”

            “This is all my fault,” she continued, not noticing the annoyance on Roger’s face. “Feeling a little needy, a little lonely too perhaps, I took a gamble. I’m the one who pushed this. And I shouldn’t have. Y’know, I ought to have known that’s how you felt, you should have let me know whenever you figured that out, but I’m the one who put you in a position to blurt it out like-”

            “-Mariah, stop. Please,” Roger cut in. “You’re not helping. At all.”

            “Oh,” she deflated.

            Roger turned, trying to take her hand. “You didn’t force me into anything, okay?”

            But she had turned from him, resisting his pull.

            “I might not have forced it, but I’ve certainly ruined our friendship.”

            “Have you? Really? Ruined is a very strong word.”

            “You haven’t ruined anything for me,” giving up on his attempts at her hand, he laid a hand on her knee. Roger leaned in, hoping she’d hear his words. “You gave me a chance to tell you, to show you, just how much you’ve meant to me for a very long time.

            “According to you I should have told you when I first realized how I felt? You were with Andre then. I didn’t know that at the time, but what would have happened if I’d told you? You would have run off. It would have ended our friendship. I can’t claim to have known that then, but I do now.

            And now? I also know that with what you did, you most likely wouldn’t wholly object to taking what we have now and going a little further.”

            Roger slid off the bed and knelt in front of Mariah, claiming one of her hands as he did so.

            “Mariah, you are my very best friend in the entire world. I’ve watched you struggle, I’ve watched you fall. I’ve watched you beat up on little boys who bullied other kids.

            “I’ve been there when your daughter was born. I’ve made my mother help you with your daughter. I helped you ruin a perfectly good cake for that same little girl. I know you better than anyone else can claim to know you.

            “You claim to be a little needy? A little lonely? You say I’m your best friend? Then let me still be your best friend. Let me help you be a little less lonely. Let me fill that need.

            “Mariah Sixkiller, will you take that next step and be my better half, be more than just my very best friend, and be my...dare I ask? My girlfriend?”

            Blinking at his last word, Mariah finally returned his smile. That stinker.

            “Roger Fox,” she said finally meeting his eye. “When you put it like that, I think, maybe, I could be okay with that.”

            Roger beamed.

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            The next morning Roger accompanied Mariah and Dove to go pick a cake out at the local bakery. The minute he walked back in the door that afternoon (he still had to work, new girlfriend or no) Mariah insisted on lighting the candle for her baby girl.

            Mariah was still walking on clouds and wanted the entire world to be as happy, as secure as she was. She'd never felt as calm as she had that entire day, and yet her excitement over Dove’s birthday bordered on giddiness. She was nearly as excited for that as she had been for Roger to return to her home.

            (Sparkle Spam!)

            (End Sparkle Spam)

            As soon as the cake had been cleared away and gifts duly opened Roger pulled Mariah to a seat for a chat.

            When he’d walked back in that afternoon, Mariah had noticed something about him. He was both more buoyant than and slightly more apprehensive in the way he spoke to her.

            She waited patiently, watching Dove chew on one of her new toys.

            “I got called in by the chief today,” Roger started suddenly.

            Mariah waited, sure that the quiet grin on his face meant the meeting had gone well.

            “Uh, when I first started I had requested a particular position, but they didn’t have any available openings at that time and I was put on a beat with Taylor instead. But one of the guys has requested a transfer out of the program to another city. Usually when you’ve been on a beat they don’t want you to do this job, because someone might recognize you, but I’m in. The chief doesn’t think anyone knows my face well enough for it to be a problem.”

            Mariah smiled indulgently figuring he’d get around to saying just what this new job was eventually. It was cute when he was all excited.

            “Now, I know we just agreed to give having a relationship a try, so the timing is-is really, really awful, but I figure we know each other well enough that it’ll still work out well between us even when I won’t be able to communicate with you for a while.”

            “Wait wait wait,” that was enough for Mariah. No communication? What in PlumbBob’s name was he talking about? “You won’t be able to communicate with me?”

            “Yeah,” he turned. His eyebrows shot up when he saw her face. “The undercover guys don’t really get to call home a ton. It could blow their cover if they got caught keeping up with family and friends.”

            “You’re going undercover?”

            “It’s what I’ve always wanted to do, yeah,” Roger’s brows knitted in concern. “I thought you knew that.”

            “I thought you wanted to be a detective,” Mariah shot back.

            “When I was six.”

            “But,” Mariah struggled with this announcement more than she thought she could have. He would be leaving her? Right after they had made such a big decision? “What about what we’d decided? About giving a romantic relationship a try?”

            “I’ll still be faithful to you,” Roger said softly. “You just won’t hear from me every day. You’re it, Mariah. And I hope you’ll be what keeps me coming back. I’ll be pretty immersed. It’s going to be tough.”

            Roger turned wistful eyes on Dove giving Mariah a chance to study him.

            At long last she sighed deeply, drawing his attention back to her.

            “I’ll call the first chance I get,” he said. “I promise. And when I get a chance to visit, I’ll be here before you know it.”

            “Really?” she questioned, eyes narrowed. “Because I’ve seen cop shows. Those guys always hook up with the floozy to save her from the bad decisions she’s made. They forsake their friends and loved ones who are only concerned that the floozy really is a floozy and not the angel the cop thinks she is inside. I’ve seen that episode like ten times now. It must be true.”

            Roger grinned, a wicked gleam in his eye.

            “Are you sure you want me to answer that?”

            Mariah smirked. “I’m no floozy. And I’ve only made one bad decision. Ever. If that. And I’m certainly no angel,” She shot back, laughing.

            “I’ll come back to you.”

            “How long before we see you again?”

            “A few months,” he replied.

            “Just don’t forget about us,” Mariah begged as he pulled her close.

            “I could never forget about the two of you.”

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<3 Roger. After all these years, he finally got the girl. :D If it wasn't totally clear, the chapter opens roughly half an hour after the last chapter left off.

My toddlers usually come out looking alright at best. Generally their faces are flat and their features indistinct to the point they all look the same. This is the first time I can finally understand the “Toddlerz iz adorbz!” craze with Sims3. Dove is a darling little toddler and I have a lot more spam pics I refrained from posting here. Instead, they are on the bloopers blog with a few other new posts to show that Dove did exist as a larva and a few other goings on during the interval between her birth and now. However, I couldn’t resist using the sparkle shots here. As I’m sure you have all noticed, I love the birthday sparkle shots.