Chapter 1.46

Chapter 1.46- There Is No Forever

            Two phone calls that morning left Layla with a stomach nervous enough that she had turned down breakfast. One ensured her future was ready and waiting for her. The other would force her to cut the final link to her past.

            Watching the students pilot the boat on the day Phedra had aged up and left herself had left an impression on Layla. And while she wished she had actually listened to her sister, she thought it might be the right place to talk to Anthony.

            Unfortunately, the boat isn’t out today. Instead she stares at where the river bends, winding between the hills beyond. Her berth on the same ship that sailed away with Phedra will take her away too that night.

            “It’s nice out here,” Anthony’s stomach must be as nervous as Layla’s, he keeps rubbing it. “Why didn’t we ever come here before?”

            “It’s one of the last places I saw Phedra,” said Layla. “I still miss her terribly. And being here makes it worse.”

            “Maybe you just need to make some happy memories here,” said Anthony. “Then it wouldn’t be so bad for you.”

            “It’s never going to erase my time here with Phedra,” Layla shot back, annoyed slightly. “I was stupid that day and didn’t listen very well to what she had to tell me. I’d give anything to go back and hear her.”

            “I take it that’s your hint to me to listen to you? Or is how you’re telling me that there won’t be any happy memories made here?”

            ‘Damn him,’ Layla hadn’t wanted to start this out with any hostility. She didn’t want it to end with hostility either.

            “It’s my hint to you to please actually listen to what I have to say.”

            “I’d listen to you forever if you’d only give me the chance.”

            “Anthony there is no forever,” sighed Layla. “I’m leaving tonight.”

            In a reversal, this time Anthony was the one to nod. Though since Layla had her back to him she couldn’t see it.

            “When we first made our agreement, that was really what I wanted. Just someone to get Galen off my back. And really, I should never have said I’d do that. Phedra had already warned me that doing something like that meant someone would get hurt.”

            “And for a really long while I had every intention of breaking the whole thing off. I wish you could know just how angry I was with you when you kissed me. And I should have known just how deep this would all get then.

            “I’m so sorry Anthony. I’m so sorry that I might have led you on for my own purpose. I’m sorry that I might have given you false hope. I’m so, so sorry that I can’t feel for you what you feel for me.”

            “Can’t?” Anthony burst out. “Why is it 'can’t?' Have you tried? Have you even thought about trying? Considered it? Actually done it? How many times have you told me what a great guy I am? Were you just saying it to say it? What about all those conversations? The long walks? The time and effort I put in with you by my side? Were you even really there?”

            And as she opened her mouth to give an angry retort he dropped to his knees beside her.

“What'll you do when you get lonely

 And nobody's waiting by your side?

 You've been running and hiding much too long.

 You know it's just your foolish pride.

Layla, you've got me on my knees.

 Layla, I'm begging you darling please.

 Layla, darling won't you please ease my worried mind.”

            Horrified, Layla covered her ears. What the hell?!?

“Let's make the best of the situation

 Before I finally go insane.

 Please don't say we'll never find a way

 And tell me all my love's in vain.

Layla, you've got me on my knees.

 Layla, I'm begging you darling please.

 Layla, darling won't you please ease my worried mind.”

            “Oh my PlumbBob, Anthony. I’m begging you please cut that out!”

            “Only if you’ll stay here and marry me. Or let me go with you. Just say you’ll be mine and I’ll stop.”

            “Have you listened to me at all?”

            Her outburst startled Anthony, who settled back on his heels. He’d never witnessed her get angry before.

            “Anthony you are a great guy. A Great guy! But you’re not the guy for me. And honestly, your pushing on this tells me I’m not the one for you either. This isn’t what I want! I don’t want here. I don’t want to live with high school for my entire life! I want to see who else might be out there for me! And before that I want a chance to live! To live as myself and on my own.”

            Turning to Anthony, Layla sighed. Judging by the look on his face he still didn’t hear her.

            “Anthony,” her voice more controlled this time. “Anthony, do you even know my thoughts on kids? On careers? On what makes a home?”

            Unanswering, unflinching, Anthony sat still as a stone.

            “Ok, I’ll start with my thoughts on 9 to 5’s. Hate ‘em. I think they’re stupid. Neither of my parents worked regular jobs and I loved that. They were home more with us. And it made us a closer family. On kids. Maybe I’ll have a baby or two one day, but I’m in no rush. And even then I’m not sure kids are in my cards, ever. And this is all just a taster. I’m sorry Anthony. Really, really sorry. But it really isn’t me you want.”

            “Please don’t leave me! Please, please don’t leave me!”

            Anthony had nearly thrown her off balance as he grabbed onto her wrist pulling her closer.

            Pity welling up, she stroked his hair, trying to calm him a little.

            “I’m so, so sorry, Anthony.”

            Tugging her hand out of his grasp, Layla turned from him walking off.

            Not having the will to fight her any longer, Anthony’s shoulders slumped, knees wet from the moist grass beneath him.

            Knowing more than seeing his dejection, every step Layla took was fresh torture for her. Until she finally realized she hadn’t said what needed to be said most.

            Turning to see him still kneeling, eyes closed made her hate herself further. Steeling herself for the possibility a new onslaught of tender declarations from him she hesitantly walked back.

            “Anthony?”

            He made no response to his softly spoken name.

            “Anthony,” she sighed. “Anthony please you’ve got to understand that it was never me you fell for. It was only the idea of a girl like me. You’re such an amazing sim. And maybe, maybe one day you’ll wake up and you’ll find you’ve moved on. And there is another sim much more wonderful than I am standing in front of you waiting. Maybe she’s been waiting for me to make way for her all along. You’re going to find someone so much better than I am one day. I can only hope that when that sim shows up you’ll look past your memory of me.”

            Pausing for a moment to take a breath, Layla carefully thought through everything she could to make sure she said the right words to east his grieving.

            “I’ll always regret that I couldn’t be the person you needed me to be, but it’s time for you to forget me. It’s time for you to start your life without me by your side. And I’ll even bet that you’ll be spectacular at it.”

            Feeling his shoulders begin to shake beneath her hands, Layla stopped speaking.

            “Goodbye.”

            Tears finally slipped beneath Anthony’s closed lids as she turned to walk away.

            One step farther away from him.

            The next step her resolve strengthened.

            Another step for Cyrus, whom she was determined to find.

            And each step she took was heavier, harder and more freeing.

            One day, she hoped to wake up and find her own regret dissolved and forgotten. One day…

End Generation 1.

Bonobo- Stay the Same Feat. Andreya Triana

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            All hail the conquering Heeero!!!!! DA daduduDa duduDA! I finished the first generation! Finally! I got WAY too into the story. Teehee.

            Alrighty, some wonderful wrap up notes:

            Anthony was begging Layla with the lyrics to “Layla” by Derek and the Dominos. (here) Written, of course, by Eric Clapton to his (then) unrequited love Pattie Boyd. If you look at a history of the song, it was heavily influenced by the tale “Layla and Majnun” a story of Persian origin recounting the story of Layla, a Moon Princess, and Majnun, who was in love with her. However, Layla’s father gave her in marriage to another man and Majnun eventually went insane pining over her. So I believe there's plenty of justification for breaking into song with her name. lol.

            However, Layla was not originally named for this song, and her story as a teen was not intended as a parallel. Also, originally I intended to spell her name more traditionally, Leila. But I changed it in order to use the lyrics later on a little more literally. But most importantly here, Layla’s name had very particular meaning compared to her siblings and Helen’s name. Specifically, the definition is opposite the definition of Helen, Cyrus, Phedra, and even Galen. Their names all have meanings related to “light,” Layla (i.e. Leila) means “Dark as Night.” 
            Curious over Generation 2 yet?



            MwuaHahahahaha! Stay tuned. ;)