Chapter 3.11- A Pitiless Yolk

            Nothing good ever came in the mail. Ever. Though she had still been a teen when she’d taken over the household finances, Mariah had never gotten used to the bad news bills regularly brought.

            Hatred of bills trumped her hatred of chain letters, even. She’d received one from a cousin once. The thing had been burnt at her little hideaway cabin, it’s dire warnings never to be heeded and the cousin who had sent it still snubbed.

            But this was no chain letter. No. Nor was it the only bill in the mailbox. Mariah sighed.

            “Bills.”

            Once Upon a Time her bank account was flush with funds her parents had carefully built up. Then this house was smaller, chopped up and dark. It had been full of ghosts and shadows that came out to taunt Mariah, presenting her with every mistake she’d ever made. A particularly viscous one took the form of a dark stain on the floor. It arose with the sole intent of taking her back to the very darkest times. Regrets and tears would follow with their own haunting and she had been miserable under their pitiless yolk.

            No matter how bad things looked on paper, she couldn’t regret what she’d spent to make her house her home. *Home.* New walls and furnishings along with the laughter of her happy children had transformed it into such, banishing former times.

            A resounding crash followed by Vivia’s riotous laughter brought Mariah’s head up quickly. Now there was one more broken item needing to be replaced.

            She’d done so well before this! Still, she intended to be the paragon of single motherhood to prove to the world that she could do it all completely by herself. One day, once she’d taught her kids the value of persistence, she’d ask Roger to give up his dream and come home to stay with them always, but not now. She couldn’t ask that of him now.

            Plugging her ears against the cacophony her kids were making she turned her attention back to matters in front of her.

            Roger still offered to provide child support, but she couldn’t admit to him why she’d suddenly changed her mind. So far, she’d done wonderfully on her own and would continue to do so. There would have to be some belt tightening, that’s all. She could start tending to the unkempt front garden to get extra produce. Perhaps the twins could use cloth diapers instead of disposable. Ick. But there were plenty of other ways she could cut back on things to make it by, surely. No one would be the wiser to her financial mistakes.

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            Despite a threat from the credit card company to cut her off if she didn’t pay them soon, she couldn’t resist going all out for Dove’s birthday. Balloons and streamers were everywhere, the cake much too big for their small party.

            Roger was back in town to help his mother settle something related to his father’s recent passing and was there to help them celebrate. He wouldn’t be able to stay too much longer, but having him home was always wonderful.

            A quick peek around the room sent flutters through her stomach. Ceeven was totally absorbed with that creepy doll some distant Aunt had sent, but Vivia was missing. In the interests of keeping costs down, she’d kept a much closer eye on Vivi lately, trying to keep her from destroying everything she touched.

            “Where’s Vivi? Have you seen Vivia?” she asked the room at large.

            “She can’t be too far,” Roger laughed at her. “She’s been eyeing the cake with more interest than Dove has for the last hour.”

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SparkleSpam! Because I can’t resist. =D

/End Sparkle Spam

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            Vivi in tow, Mariah managed to make it back just in time. Tears welled up in her eyes as she looked at the little girl in front of her.

            “Happy Birthday, Dovey!” she gushed.

            Dovey, however, rolled her eyes at the familiar term. “It’s not ‘Dovey,’ Mom. Geez.”

            “She’s a big kid now!” Roger chanted before blowing a noisemaker as loudly as he could.

            “Says the ‘man’ who still dresses like he’s a teenager. If she’s a big kid now, how old does that make you?” she fired back. Big kid or no, that was still her baby standing over there cutting a massive slab of birthday cake.

            “Ha! How old does that make you then, beautiful?” Roger fired back with a wink.

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Roger’s POV

            “Might I have this dance?” Dove had been twirling in front of the stereo from the moment she’d finished eating.

            “Oh! Yes, DaddyRoger! Er, kind sir. I would be honored to dance with you.” She’d chirruped back, blushing a little. After watching all those princess movies on TV, she knew just what she was supposed to say. The awkward feeling that came with the words was unexpected though.

            Roger suppressed a chuckle. This one was as girlie as her mother had been, still was.

            Catching on, Dove and her Daddy-Roger were quickly joined by the rest of the family. Not entirely sure what was going on, Ceeven attempted to play Peek-A-Boo with anyone whose eye he could catch. Vivia, surprisingly, seemed captivated, not even taking the opportunity of everyone else being distracted to run off and climb a bookcase or dresser. She hummed along to the tune, mimicking whatever Mariah did.

            Once Dove tired of Roger’s slow movements, moving away to show Ceeven what was really going on, he seized the opportunity to pick up his tiny dancer.

            Any time he got to be home, he’d spent as much time as he could with his kiddos. He and Dove had always had a special bond, Ceeven warmed up to him quickly too. But Vivia had proven a challenge for Roger. This one was too active to want to sit down and let her daddy cuddle her. If he’d try to join in her play, she’d run away instead.

            At first, he’d been hurt and nearly heartbroken that his daughter didn’t want anything to do with him. Eventually, Mariah had talked him into accepting it, but it rankled still. This moment thrilled him. Finally, Vivia looked at him and smiled all because he danced with her.

            “Mom! You look ridiculous!” laughed Dove.

            “Dikilus, Mama!” Ceeven giggled along.

            “Hey! Don’t spoil my fun! You’re just jealous you can’t move. Like. This!” she smiled back at the pair, popping a hip.

            Seeing Ceeven act droopier than usual he scooped up “Cee,” as Vivi termed him, and settled on the couch with his kids.

            This little boy was almost exactly opposite his sister. He was calm and quiet, mellow and sweet. Long ago, his mother had used those very words to describe how he’d seemed to her compared to his rowdy older brothers.

            Sighing, he turned to the little girl now fascinated by his piercings. Pointing and babbling, her tiny hand warming his shoulder as her smiles warmed his heart Roger felt there was nothing he wouldn’t do for his kids. Stomach sinking, he realized how much he had missed by not being there all the time. He was away from work now, why go back? Why not take the chance to switch assignments and come home?

            Life was too short not to take every opportunity to be with those you love. In this moment he was willing to sacrifice everything to be here with his family all of the time. He needed them. They deserved him.

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Mariah’s POV

            The kids were finally down. It had taken extra effort to get Vivia quiet. A sugary cake and the excitement of a family party had wound her up more than usual. And when she was wound up, she liked to prod at Ceeven, daring him in her own way to match her high spirits and keep up with her.

            Thankfully, Dove had moved into her own room, now sleeping in the big girl bed set aside for her so long ago. This freed up her old room, and her old crib, for Mariah to separate her twins at last.

            She’d taken Vivia into the other nursery to give her a bath, hoping the warm water and a good rubdown would calm her. Sure enough, she’d drifted off easily for once. That’s when Mariah found that Ceeven was sitting, whimpering for his missing sister.

            So Mariah had plucked him out of his crib and rocked until he’d finally nodded off, nearly nodding off herself. And now she was free to spend time alone with Roger.

            Looking at his form, stretched out along the couch, a glow spread through her, warming her cheeks with thoughts of indulgence. It had been so long since he had been able to spend so much time with them. She’d missed him. She’d needed him.

            Wasting no time, Mariah straddled Roger, kissing him with such an intensity she actually felt physically hungry. Bending low, she nibbled a little at his jaw line, tracing it with her tongue in between. His shirt in her grasp, she ground her hips into his, reveling in the knowledge he wanted her as much as she did him.

            “Marry me, Mariah.”

            Roger cupped her chin in his hands now, had pulled her back from him, forcing her to meet his gaze. But she couldn’t comprehend what he was saying. She needed him. Didn’t he get that? She couldn’t wait. There was nothing left of her but a flame burning brightly just for him.

            “Marry me, Mariah.”

            This time, Roger spaced the words out, breathing into them a passion that stole away her own.

            “Mariah.”

            Closing her eyes, Mariah let out a heavy breath. The hand clutching his shirt, grasped it ever harder until she found that Roger was holding her wrist in the same way.

            “Mariah.”

            Slowly, she let go of the shirt, noting she’d ripped it a little with her nails. Despite relaxing her own grip, Roger’s on her tightened. He wanted an answer.

            Face burning, she lifted her eyes back to his. A deep breath in intended to enable her response couldn’t give her the courage she needed to be able to say it. The second and third ones did no better, leaving her as cowardly and silent as the first.

            “Mariah.”

            He was pleading now. Begging her to end his suspense; begging her to declare one way or the other, to make up her mind, to give his heart wings and his life an anchor. Finally, tired of waiting, he let go of her wrist. With the release, her voice found her at last and she crushed him with a whisper.

            “No.”

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Roll Reveal!

Marital Structure is!

Single.

Sorry folks. :(

Also, my apologies for the wait. Things should be slowing back down in a week or so, hopefully meaning updates a little closer together and I’ll be able to catch up on all I’m so terribly behind on.