Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Chapter 1.9

Chapter 1.9- Fool

Your visions will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.”

― C.G. Jung

                Helen still wasn’t sure how she had made it through the wedding, much less made it up to the pavilion for the reception.

                And now, watching those two together, she wasn’t sure what to do with herself. Did she want them to see her? Did she want to tell Lily Pad that she was carrying Trenton’s child? Did she even want to tell Trenton it was his? Did he even notice that she was expecting? Had he seen her at all?

                She had nothing but tunnel vision and a pit in her stomach. She had cleaned herself up in the bathroom, many of the other guests had assumed she was merely emotional from hormones at a lovely sunset wedding. Now, Helen promised herself there would be no more tears over that sack of $#!7. It was the only thing she knew for certain right now.

                Helen wasn’t the only one watching the lovebirds during their song. Several other guests were watching in fascination, how could you not? It was a very wet vertical wrestling match in public. Newly married or no, it was gross.
                Steve had come up quietly behind ‘Elena’ just as her foot made a move toward the couple against her better judgment. Though she wasn't sure just what she was going to do, Helen had decided she could take it no more.

                Before her toe could go any further Steve grabbed her arm and spun her around. His jaw was set, his gaze intense and still, Helen couldn’t stop watching Trenton and Lily Pad.
                “Elena, look at me.”
                “Elena, I swear to PlumbBob if you don’t look at me I’ll do something drastic. Quit staring at them!” His whisper was harsh and angry.

                Narrowing her eyes, she finally turned to him only because she'd never heard him sound like that before. Though if he dared to make a scene she’d unleash everything she was feeling right now on him. He wasn’t her boss.

                “I don’t know why you insisted on staying, but as not many people did I will not let you make a fool out of yourself here,” Steve growled.
                How dare he tell her what she could and could not do. Surprised at his presumption, she inhaled through bared teeth ready to let angry words slap him for her.
                “You will behave yourself,” Steve continued, ignoring her snarl. “You will not speak to the happy newlyweds. And above all, you will not cause a scene. You’ll kill yourself tomorrow if you do. I won’t have it.”
                His look was as hard as hers was. Inwardly, she seethed over his dominance of her, outwardly, she went along with it; though it was merely because being told what to do was easier than trying to figure it out on her own.

                Steve noted the resignation in her body, sighing with relief he did his best to comfort her a little.
                “I know he’s an insect you could squash without any hesitation,” Steve tried to sympathize. “But this is not the place, nor the time. Give ‘em a few weeks to learn that the other ain’t what they’re cracked up to be and go in there and crush ‘em both. But be strong while we’re here, for Cyrus.”
                Helen had completely forgotten her little boy was here. It brought her up short, made her focus a little, struggle for control.

                “I-I’d-Cyrus,” she stammered a tad breathlessly. How could she be so careless of her own son? “Where is he?”
                “Aw,” Steve soothed. “I’ll find ‘im. Most likely someone’s given him a bite of cake and he’s wallowing in it.”
                “Could you check please? I don’t think I can navigate the stairs. My legs are a little weak.”
                “I’ll find ‘im. Just stay here. I’ll be right back.”
                Elena had to stay there. She had not been lying when she said her legs felt like jello. And so she let the party swirl around her, trying to figure out where she had gone wrong.

                Steve was back in moments.
                “He’s fine,” He told her briskly. “Some old dear says he reminds her of her grandson. She’s got ‘im.”
                He took her arm roughly, pulling her away from Trenton, who had wandered a little too near her for comfort.
                “We’re dancin’.” He gave her a stern look, shaking her a little as he let her go.
                Helen, however, hardly noticed. She only saw Trenton. She hoped he would see her, smiling, dancing with another man, pregnant with his child.

                Helen kept it up with Steve for what felt like hours. Trenton never did so much as glance her way though, and she didn’t know how much longer she could go.
                Every time she looked at him her mind screamed. She begged and pleaded with him in her head. She knew, she knew, that if only he saw her he would renounce everything to take care of her and the baby. If only he’d look at her...

                “You’re gettin’ tired,” Steve said ages later. The party had thinned out and only a handful of people remained, waiting to see the bride and groom off.
                He watched her a moment, her movements were getting slower, heavier.

                “Elena,” Steve said. “Smile.”
                She finally broke her concentration on Trenton for a moment.
                “Smile,” Steve told her, biting his bottom lip in a goofy white boy dance grin. “You’ve stopped smilin’. If you’re gonna hide it, smile.”
                She flicked the corners of her mouth up at his silly look, and went on. Nothing of her smile reached her eyes.

                Even curving her lips was too tiring and Elena let them drop soon after, eyes immediately fixed on the groom.
                Steve let it go for now.
                “We can leave,” Steve told Elena.
                “No,” she snapped. She blinked slowly and took a deep breath while turning back to Steve. Elena hadn’t meant to sound so angry. “I mean, not just yet. I’ve kept it up for Cyrus this long, I want to be the happy mother who can keep it up a little longer. Fool those who made a fool out of me.”

                Finally, nearing midnight, the couple went off to get ready to leave.
                Helen watched Trenton near, maybe this time he’d see her. He’d have to pass her to reach the stairs.
                “Look at me look at me look at me look at me look at me look at me look at me,” Helen chanted under her breath watching him get ever closer.

                Helen panted trying to keep her tears in check as he walked right by her, looking straight ahead. Her heart, however, whispered that he might turn around still. And so she kept on going.

                With a strained smile, Helen finally turned her gaze back to Steve. He would watch Trenton for her. He could be the eyes in the back of her head.
                “He’s still too close to stop,” Steve whispered to her. “Jus’ keep goin’. You’re almost there. You’re doin’ great.”

                “They’re outta my sight now,” Steve finally looked back at Elena.
                Weary and sick she leaned up against the column behind her. She was unsure how much longer her legs would support her. Even her vision was beginning to get a little fuzzy.

                “I’m going to faint,” Elena managed to whisper just as she heard the doors of the waiting limo close whisking the happy couple off for a honeymoon.
                Steve grabbed onto her just as she thought she might fall.
                “Hold on,” he whispered in her ear. “Just hold on to me. I’ve got ya.”
                For a few minutes, she let him be her prop until she had mastered herself enough to stand on her own.

                Trying her legs, Elena took a tentative step back, hand still on Steve for support.
                Sighing, she looked down. Holding her head up took more out of her than she had left.
                “I’ll get Cyrus. I’ll get you both home.”

                “Take me home, please.” Elena sounded like a small child.
                “Let’s go.”
-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

                Steve had put Cyrus to bed as soon as they walked in the door. ‘Elena’ had stayed in the entry. She could go no further, and Steve knew that she would need his presence of mind. He found her in the same place she had stopped the moment she had come in.
                Walking in front of her, he waited.

                Falling into his ready arms moments later, she shook them both with her violent sobs.
                “Shhhhh,” Steve whispered. “Hush now, it’s not so bad. It’s not so bad!”
                “Yes it is! It’s horrible, it’s horrible...”
                'Steve' let her cry in peace for a moment, thinking his words through.
                “Elena.” Gently, he said her name, hoping she'd heed him.
                “Elena.” This time, her sobs actually got a little louder. But with an ace up his sleeve Steve knew he'd get her full attention, yet.

                Her eyes flew open, her weeping abruptly stopped with a gasp. Slowly, she pushed herself back from Steve.
                How could he know that name?

                Blinking rapidly, she was surprised to not be able to meet his gaze.
                “What did you call me?”
                “Helen,” Steve stared hard at her. “I called you Helen.”
                Trying to ease her breath, Helen cast about trying to figure out how bad the situation was.
                Heart running away at a rabbit’s speed Helen finally looked into his eyes.
                “You don’t know me.” Her whisper sounded childish and immature. But she had to shield herself somehow. She couldn’t be so exposed on the most awful night of her life.
                “’I don’t know you’,” Steve repeated. “I don't know you? I don’t know that you are terrified of the future? I don’t know that you are running from your past?"
                Her attention, finally, fully caught, Steve pressed on.
                "I don’t know that fresh strawberries make you smile, that you say black is your favorite color when it’s really blue? I don’t know that you love flowers, but hate to see them die when they are cut? I don't know that when you are happy you hum under your breath and instead of walking you kind of dance everywhere you go? I don't know that you snore terribly?"
                Wide eyed, she shook her head at him.
                "Then let me tell you what I do know," Steve pressed on, taking a small step forward. "I know that you are so scared of being a lousy mom that even Cyrus scares you. I know that you take photographs to escape from your own memories. I know that you are Helen Blue. I also know that I love you and that you love me, too, whether you believe that right now or not.”

                Just as she took a shuddering breath to begin crying again, shaking her head and backing away, Steve grabbed her kissing her hard. Her tears began again in earnest, now falling onto his cheeks as well as hers.
                She tried to push him away, but she was weak and he held her more tightly against him the more she struggled. He ran his hand up her back, stroking her hair, and she gave in.

                When she began to return his kisses, he grew tender and soft.
                Somehow, the tightness in her chest eased and she could feel strength in her arms and legs. Her head cleared and a focus established itself.

                After an eternity that was all too short, he pulled away. Taking her head in his hands he drank in her gaze, rejoicing at her smile.
                “See, I told you,” Steve whispered. “It’s not so bad.”
                Helen giggled softly.
                “Maybe not.”

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --
And the Kiss! Family structure is: Couple!  Now you know …
I’ll reveal his real name soon. I hate typing ‘Steve.’ I keep screwing up and putting his real name in here on accident and have to go back and change it. SO excited to be able to use it. It’s bad though, like redneck bad. Brace yourselves.
And of course, the inspiration that got me to write this one. I’m probably the most Non-Romantic female I’ve ever known, even my husband laments it. I’d rather laugh than get sappy and mushy. So this was a REALLY difficult chapter to write (And should explain the extreme use of cliche) I had to listen to this particular song over and over and over. (My 4year old princess LOVED it.) I could hear it as I put this all together, even though my house was silent.
However, this will most likely only be the theme for this particular chapter. These two are too high spirited to play cutsie for long.


  1. FINALLY!!!!

    Aw, 'Steve' is so supportive and understanding, and just what Helen needs. But seeing as he knows all this about Helen, it is about time he revealed some about himself.

    I thought you did romance very well! I am also very un-romantic, so I know how hard it is to write scenes like this!

    So, couple? Will there be another baby? I feel like 'Steve' needs his own child as he is already raising other peoples and it would be a reward for him :)

    1. 'Steve's' story will come out soon, I promise! I've hinted at it a few times (hinted; on purpose I've been incredibly subtle about it) that Steve goes out and talks with other sims a lot. So he managed to get information about her easily without her ever realizing it.
      And... you'll just have to see what the 'Couple' roll entails with these two.

  2. Team 'Steve' (or..Bubba?) gives an exultant cheer! Go, Steve Go!
    I'm a totally gushy hopeless romantic, so this chapter made me SO HAPPY!!!!

    1. lol! Bubba might just be a little too... mudneck, (as would Jim Bob and Cooter) but it's still not an easy handle to carry around. You'll just have to see what his name is! And I'm glad you liked this chapter! Helen's not quite such an idiot anymore. lol!

  3. Yay! I'm so glad 'Steve' finally told Helen that he loved her and she responded!

    1. Yup! He finally got it out of his system, and at just the right time, too.

  4. Oh, Helen, you foolish foolish woman. At least you have 'Steve' to watch out for you!

    Can't write romance? Uhhhhh... you are amazing at it!

    1. Thank you! Oh, yes. If she didn't have Steve, (and if he hadn't finally said something), I'm a little afraid of what she might have done out of desperation. A desperate woman is rarely a lovely one.

  5. Huzzah! Now, hopefully, Helen won't go running anymore. "Steve" is good for her. He keeps her grounded.

    1. Very grounded! He makes her think, something she isn't likely to do on her own. lol

  6. I wasn't going to comment until I got caught up (because I'm a really slow reader and it's embarrassing how long it takes me to read through a legacy), but I just can't resist! Best. Chapter. Ever. The wedding scene was absolutely heartbreaking, but the part with Steve! *swoons* I seriously can't stop smiling. And you say you're not a romantic! I definitely am, and I think it was beautifully written.

    Can't wait to see what happens next! =D Loving it so far.

    1. Sorry, should have said 'Steve' instead of Steve. ;)

    2. Lol. That's ok. He forgives you. Thank you! I'm glad you're enjoying it! 'Steve' is definitely a bit of a romantic so I kinda had to write it like that whether I wanted to or not. Ha!

      And it's ok. Life takes over and makes reading these a lot longer too. And I'm awfully long winded it seems.

  7. I'm with Melissa. It's gotta be 'Bubba.' Jim Bob? Billy Boy?
    This was a great chapter. /happy sigh

    1. It's bad. and What's worse, hubs and I came up with it while going through names of football players from a nearby reservation. Later on, I needed another name and picked one that had unfortunately been used as a pair with 'Steve's' real name in one of the worlds. So it's redneck bad and EA came up with it first. HA!